


in her hate (i have drowned)

by writemeastoryofmylifeandtellmeif_i_live



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, SO SORRY, angsty, it just hurts people i'm sorry, so so angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writemeastoryofmylifeandtellmeif_i_live/pseuds/writemeastoryofmylifeandtellmeif_i_live
Summary: I'm figuring this out. Holy shit, I'm awesome. :b





	

_take the shot, agent._

_i **can’t** , sir._

_explain._

_there’s a–well, it appears as if there’s another party at play here, sir. she’s–at least i think it’s a she–she’s blocking my shot, sir. how should i proceed?  
_

_stand down, and wait, agent.  
_

_but sir–_

_that’s an order, agent danvers._

_… yes sir._

**_that was the first time i saw her. it would not be the last._ **

_target is down and ready for evac, sir.  
_

_en route to your location, agent. eta, 15 minutes, standby._

_yes sir–oh-oh shi–_

**_her red boots were the first thing i saw this time. they made quite the impact against the face of a monster i had thought defeated. it roared and charged, but she–_ definitely _a she–was ready. they fought in a way i could barely stand to watch and i was a soldier forged for battle. their battle waged was brutal, intense, and without fear of death or defeat. she had the sky on her side and like a bird of prey, she took her place above him, raining down on him with a fury i’d never seen before. and as he fell… defeated at last… those bloodstained boots were the last thing i saw as she flew away…_**

_agent danvers._  
  
_sir?_  
  
_we’ve got a sighting. get a team, go._  
  
_orders?_  
  
_alive, agent. bring her back alive._  
  
_… sir._  
  
_that’s an order, agent danvers._  
  
_understood, sir.  
_  
_and danvers–alex–_  
  
_sir?_  
  
_don’t do anything stupid._ **  
**  
she stood in front of me. proud, strong, defiant. my gun had long since fallen to my side. bullets littered the ground around us; broken and bent from trying to crack an impenetrable wall. my team lay behind me, cut off from me. i had brought war to a god when i was only human. her fiery blue eyes burned into mine and a knowledge that whatever was going to happen next… I would not survive. i knew. i was going to die.  
  
_i’m-i’m sorry director. i don’t think i’m gonna walk away from this one, sir._  
  
_agent-agent danvers just hol-just hold on! we’re on our w–_  
  
_it’s been an honor, director._  
  
_ale–_ **  
**  
darkness. fear. pain. so, so much pain. and then… silence.  
  
alex shot up in fear, crying out as her pulse raged and her heart threatened to pound right out of her chest. a hand reached out, brushing across her face and a soft, frantic voice called out to her. ‘alex, alex plea-please alex, it’s okay, i promise it’s all gonna be okay just breathe alex–just-just breathe for me.‘ alex clutched at the hands on her face, shaking in a way that felt more broken than afraid. her chapped lips cracked as she cried, ‘don’t hurt–don’t please i’m sorry-i’m so sorry please don’t–’ the hands fell away, and in the relief of being free and safe she fell back into the dark.  
  
_is she-hank is she–?_  
  
_she‘s a fighter, supergirl. she will-she will make it through this._  
  
_i just-you didn’t see-she was so **scared** hank. i’ve **never** seen her like that._  
  
poison, they said. a drug that brought out the worst of her fears, and gave them life. they had brought her back, but a part of her was still there. would she ever be able to look at supergirl without seeing those blood red boots? would she ever do anything but flinch under kara’s touch; waiting for a blow? would she ever forget how it felt to die at the hands of the one she loved most?  
  
kara was always a friendly, warm girl. but do not be confused, under her smile is the powers of a god. and when a god is angry… the whole world will shake and bow before them.  
  
and in this world… she had me. she had her family, and her friends. she had love and support and the unshakable belief that the world was good and people could be saved.  
  
but that world? in that world she was alone. and the world paid for it.  
  
**a simple poison has worked its way through my system. i did not fight it. i did not win. i was brought back, but i am no longer alex danvers; lover, soldier, daughter, friend. i have seen the worst of the woman i love. i have felt her rage, her grief, and her pain. i have felt blows of her fists, and i have welcomed death at her hands. i did not fight. i did not win. the poison is still there. it runs through my veins still. _it has not left_. and i fear it never will.**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry.


End file.
